Thursday, February 14, 2008

i heart you

Happy Valentine's Day, Knoxville! Who's got a good Valentine story? I dont. But I can tell you a depressing story about how I spent four Valentine's Days in a row at a Ponderosa Steakhouse eating warmed over buffet food.

I swam in college, and our championship meet was always, always over Valentine's day. We were given a per diem of 50 dollars to last us for the week (or, as Jemaine from Flight of The Conchords instructs, this should actually be called a "per weekum"). Being the good college athletes that we were, we all decided it best to spend as little as possible on food, save all the money we could and then pool all our bucks to by alcohol for a post meet bash back home. Dedicated athletes we were. Come to think of it, our team was a little like the Bad News Bears. Our motto was "No Swimming on the Drinking Team." I kid you not. Reason number 6,701 I do not want to be a parent.

Anyway, because we were trying to cheap it as much as possible, we always, always went to the shittiest restaurants available. Enter Ponderosa. Which, if you dont know, is the Northern Version of Old Country Buffet, Golden Corral, or the like. Nothing says romance like 30 sweaty, chlorine smelling kids lined up to get their fill of lukewarm macaroni and cheese, "steak," and potatoes. This always depressed me a little more than most of my teammates, and I secretly wished someone had tracked down my hotel and sent me a dozen roses. Never happened. Sad life I lead.

So, who's got a story?


stan said...

i remember our cross-country team in high school being similarly disenchanted. we didn't turn to hard drinking, but our cheer before meets was: "it's only 20 minutes!" meaning we only had to exert ourselves for roughly 20 minutes-showing our lack of mental and physical commitment.

as far as v-day goes, i don't have any particularly funny stories for myself. but i do remember going on a double valentine's date with the pol and his ex-girlfriend. they broke up a couple days before, but for reasons unknown to reasonable people decided to come on the double date anyway. we went to the pancake pantry in nashville (imagine ihop on steroids--its good!)for the breakfast of st. valentine. i don't remember too much (probably the triple order of chocolate chip pancakes did something to my long-term memory), but i do remember there were several periods of uncomfortable silence. there are only a handful of conversations you can have with two people who have just broken up that don't make them think about their breakup. it was awkward.

but two of them are married now and i broke up with my date and got married to someone else. so i guess they had the last laugh, if you're somebody who laughs at stuff like that...

stan said...

also, i've been listening (and making em listen to) the magnetic fields all day long.

best st. valentine music ever.

ck said...

are you listening to 69 love songs? great album!
i don't remember most valentine's day dates... i never seemed to be in a steady relationship this time of year, so i'd always ask whoever i had a crush on to go on a date. this holiday always made me a little bolder than usual.

benjamin said...

"I'm an introvert dang it!"

also, if coach delvaux was british