Freedom Thighs 2012

I couldn't tell you specifically what I like so much about the Freedom Thighs bike ride. There's an inexpressible feeling it gives you, something pictures and text may not have the ability to convey, but I'll try.

Outside the Birdhouse

The bike ride happens each 4th of July, meeting at the Birdhouse around 4pm. Bikers line up in the street, listen to a rendition on the Star Spangled Banner (this year, Dolly Parton's), and begin their patriotic cruise through the neighborhoods of Knoxville.



Most attendees are decked out in American themed apparel. I myself bought a flag vest a couple years back for my first Freedom Thighs, and it's become a go-to for this ride each year. This year, two synchronized boom boxes towed behind bikes busted out jams ranging from Ludacris's Roll Out to some USA themed songs sung in Spanish.

Eagle on Rollerblades!

I couldn't tell you either, if there is any common thread that runs through each of the bikers who come each year to ride this ride.

 I overheard one hipster-looking biker say to his friends as I slowly meandered past them, "I can't tell if this race is satirical or not. It seems like there are a lot of truly patriotic people here, but I know there are some anarchists here as well... and just so y'all know, I bought this (American flag) t-shirt at Wal-Mart."



Sidenote: I don't know much about this subject, but it's true that there is a small contingent of anarchists that like to ride bicycles in Knoxville. They're some real nice people, yet would a true anarchist attend an American-themed bike ride? Are anarchists known to be especially ironic?*

Maybe what I like about the ride is the simultaneous delight and confusion I feel.



Freedom Thighs does mostly draw a bunch of white hipsters, it's true.

Part of the route winds through some East Knox neighborhoods which are predominantly inhabited by African Americans. These are some of my favorite streets to ride through because there is such a great community presence there. So many families came out on their porches to cheer on us white kids dressed like idiots.

And together, we all cheered on America.

 If that's not patriotic, I couldn't tell you what is.

Babe-raham Lincoln

We made a stop at the Pilot on Magnolia. That Pilot made a billion dollars yesterday, and so did the ice-cream man who stopped there when he saw all of us.

Love grows at Pilot

Then some idiot started shooting fireworks. Really? At a gas station? I can't say everyone on the ride is the brightest.




I saw many faces on the ride that have moved away from Knoxville over the past few years. They come back for this ride, and that's saying something.




I didn't end up finishing out the whole route. I think they went about 10 miles in all, making various stops to rest, consume cold beverages, and eat hotdogs, but I had a cookout calling my name.

The Ice-Cream man found us

If you have been intrigued in the slightest by this post, you should consider taking a chance on shenaniganery and joining the ride next year. No one fits in, but we all do because we're American, you know what I'm saying?



 Wherever the 4th of July took you, whether you were enjoying a/c with normal, calm people or with a bunch of hooligans on bikes, I do hope it was as merry one.

Facilitators of Freedom Thighs

*Questions for another time.

A North Knoxville Delicacy

Yesterday, I was taking some back roads to my house from the Walgreen's on Broadway. My friend Jeff was with me, visiting from out of town.

I drove by the market on 6th Avenue, an establishment I've passed many times before. As I did, I said to Jeff, "I've always wanted to stop in there," to which he replied rather slowly, "Annus."

I looked up, noticing the signage for the first time, and almost ran a stop sign when I realized he was saying the name of the market.

We pronounced it several different ways, but there was no way around it being hilarious. I don't know how I missed it all these years, and while I wonder how anyone could name anything Annus, I'm glad they did. I haven't laughed that hard in some time.

Blue Steel on a Meme

We're not responsible for it, but it's something we wish we'd thought of. Facebook has exploded in the past few days with Stephen A. Burroughs Memes, honoring our favorite personal injury lawyer.

We here at the Wigshop have long be fans of the East Tn. Lawyer, as evidenced by this post, this post, this post and this post. We could spend all day uploading our favorite contributed memes celebrating the Blue Steeled Billboard King, but instead we'll let you go take a look yourself. We are pretty partial to this one, though ...


That's right, Knoxville. You now know the other half of the secret.

We're also glad to see he has a sense of humor about it all (he's been lurking on the wall of the FB page).

knoxville's jobless recovery

Back in '02-03, the US economy recovered from recession in a peculiar way. Granted, that particular recession (caused by the dot-com bubble) was short and relatively benign compared to the one we're still recovering from. The economy shrank a mere -0.3% (compared to the '09 recession of -5.1%) and unemployment peaked at 6.3% ('09 was 10.1%).


In the years following the dot-com bubble burst, unemployment stayed high. in fact, the number of employed actually shrank even though the unemployment rate held more-or-less steady. (How, you ask? Exodus from the labor force) basically, the economy picked up without new jobs, leading most to suggest technological improvements fueled the upturn (like automated services, among many others). Now in '11, "economic recovery" is almost 2 years old, and Knoxville may be hitting its stride. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Knoxville very own jobless recovery with mannequins! Why hire from a staffing firm when you can dress up ex-goody's employees that you found on Craigslist?

Mannequin with (awkwardly placed) pitchfork, Broadway

Bed intruder preventer with optional bandana, E. Scott Avenue

"Jesus takes away bad dreams"

This seems to be popping up around town. Anyone have an idea where it started or who is behind it?

This one was found on Gay Street (can I still say that?) and one of our own had a note with the same message left on their door one night. I've seen it in the form of graffiti, notes, and pieces of paper on stuff.

Thoughts? Questions? Theological ponderings?

AAAHHHHH!!!

Blue Steel...















 ... is in yo' backseat!

What the crap is this!?

Has anyone seen the crazy graffiti on the fireproof storage building in the Old City? I saw it evolve into its current state a few months back and every time I look at it I honestly get a little creeped out.

I mean... kudos to the artist because there is a lot of detail in there and I'm sure it took a long time. This is definitely one of the most elaborate graffiti pieces that I've seen in town.




Anyone care to take ownership?


For some reason the centerpiece kind of (emphasis on KIND OF!) reminded me of this childhood favorite from Zelda: Link's Awakening on GameBoy... Don't ask why.

hide your wives

hello knoxville. stan here. it's been awhile, i know--i have no explanation. but i figure this picture was worth sharing. the blogger you know as the pol sent this disturbing image along. apparently, it's creep out your co-workers day.

please humiliate or ostracize accordingly.

cheers.

Juicy*, I've a feeling we're not in 4th and Gill anymore

Over the summer I moved from 4th and Gill to, what I lovingly call, the ghetto side of Luttrell Street. You know what I'm talking about. Turn at the Broadway BP onto Grainger and you're there. It's a wonderful and bizarre place.

The first time I moved to this neighborhood was in 2005. I was still in school and found this sweet old rental house on Grainger with tall ceilings, hardwood floors, and textured wall paper. It wasn't in the best shape, but considering my previous home was Shelbourne Towers, I could only improve my situation.

I moved in with two girls in the downstairs of the house, and four girls lived on the second floor. At 3 am on the night before classes started at UT, we awoke to something I hope to never wake up to again. The back of our house had been lit on fire by some bored and deranged soul. Welcome to the neighborhood!

I currently live right around the corner from that house, and within the first week of living here, an equally disturbing situation occurred. A strung out woman came to my door and asked for a woman named Suzy. I told her that Suzy did not live here, which caused her to curse loudly at me and call me a liar. She had knocked on my neighbors' doors as well, so we called the police. I grew up a lot that night, as I saw a glimpse into the life of a drug addict.



Now that I live here again, I began to wonder which neighborhood association claimed us. I learned it is not 4th and Gill (why am I not surprised), but actually Old North Knoxville. Much to my chagrin, Luttrell Street is divided by the Hall of Fame/Broadway exit, and so even though I live on Luttrell, which is one of my favorite streets in Knoxville, there is a difference between 4th and Gill's Luttrell and our side of Luttrell.

For one, it doesn't take even a minute's walk from my place to feel like you're sort of in a third world country. Dogs run through pothole infested streets in front of dilapidated houses. Front porches are like junk museums. You hear people yelling quite a bit, and all the neighborhood dogs bark in chorus with one another multiple times a day.



We have a man who is our self-proclaimed Neighborhood Watch. He rides the streets on his motorized wheel chair. Everytime I see him, I feel so safe.

Some of the houses are just as darling as 4th and Gill's are, but we also have a little greenway and creek nearby. Even though there are signs that warn you NEVER to touch the water in the creeks, it is incredibly beautiful in spots where the path winds through enormous trees.

I, like Wild Bill, have moved quite a bit in my eight year stint of living in Knoxville, but this is my hood these days. These streets are tough, but I've moved here twice, so I guess that's saying something.

*my cat

Choose Your Own Adventure, Harby's Pizza style

Ok, kiddos. It's time for a dining experience that only Old North-ish Knoxville can offer.

First, pick a song to listen to during this post:

The Mighty Quinn by Manfred Mann
San Francisco by Scott McKenzie or...
Solitary Man by Neil Diamond

Are you gently swaying from side to side yet?

Now choose a game to play:
Backgammon or...



Chess.



Where do you want to sit? Near the album and photo covered wall? or...



by the fanciest mural in all of Knoxville?



You don't get a choice of what to eat. We're ordering the Harby's Special: onions, pepperonis, olives, and bell peppers. Mmmm-mm.



The booty is bountiful at Harby's pizza. There's Miss Pac-Man, a fish tank, and check out these fluorescent light covers below.



If you've never been before, just look for the man fishing for pizza off of Broadway just north of Senor Taco. They aren't lying when they say "One bite and you(')r(e) hooked."

Afterward, be sure to stop in at Mystical Orb next door for all of your incense needs.



Harby's Pizza
3718 Walker Blvd
Knoxville, TN 37917

goose creek wreck

Yesterday, exploring the urban wilderness areas of Riverside Drive and Cherokee Trail with Mr. Jobe, we came upon this scene: the surprisingly picturesque, surprising bad smelling Goose Creek in the Scottish Pike neighborhood. What attracted our attention though is in the middle of the photo (squint your eyes against the bad phone camera pixelation) is the fairly large wrecked boat lodged up against those old concrete piers. What happened?! Is anyone missing a boat? How did it manage to get in Goose Creek? Shipwrecks have always been fascinating to me since watching Swiss Family Robinson as a kid. I might go back to get a closer look and see is she's salvageable. Salvage rights apply on big rivers, right? Maybe she'll become the S.S. Wigshop.

The best thing that's ever happened to me

Something you may not know about being a writer for the Wigshop is how glamorous it has made our lives. Everyday people are handing us concert tickets, picking up our tabs, or letting us jump to the front of lines at clubs.


I'm joking. Obviously. (When do we ever go to clubs?)

Our compensation does come from the joy of knowing that there are people out there that read this blog. (Quite frankly, I think you're all crazy, but) It is such a great feeling.

However... it does not hurt for something more tangible to come our way every now and again.

That's why when I was invited a few months ago to visit the Titanic replica in Pigeon Forge because I had written a post about it, I was ecstatic. It was a sentiment much like Rose must have felt while dancing with Jack and his fellow swashbucklers in the hull of the Titanic.



It was a gray November day when I drove out to Pigeon Forge with two of my friends. We passed the large upside down mansion, and there on our right stood the smokestacks. We parked and walked inside the black trailer in the parking lot to meet our tour guide, Rick. Upon entering, a jovial woman announced, rather startlingly, "Welcome aboard!" I pursed my lips to hold back laughter, mostly from sheer delight.



Rick asked if we wanted to have the "Welcome aboard!" lady give us her spiel on the Titanic museum or if we wanted the tour first. I couldn't help myself. "The tour, please!"



We entered the ship, donning orange construction hats.

I have to say, it was a little disappointing. There was not much to see at this point but steel beams and concrete. Rick tried to paint images of its potential in our heads, of the Grand Staircase and the fine china place settings you would be able to touch in the dining room.



I'm not one to give you all the details of the inner-workings of the museum: "The Titanic was constructed with 50 gabillion tons of steel, blah, blah, blah..." Rick did inform us that it will be as factual as possible, a place where adult and child can learn in an incredibly ornate atmosphere. I did retain such information as, there will be an ice wall that you can touch at the end of the tour in a room with a starry filled sky overhead. Also, you will be able to get married on the Grand Staircase, and there will be a reception room above for after the ceremony. What a dream!



This spring, you too will have the chance to visit yourself, and it will cost you somewhere around $25. I can't wait to go back when it's all done, and you can be sure I'll be wearing (not a construction hat, but) my "Heart of the Ocean" necklace Rick gave me.

The first, second, third, and fourth photo were taken by Tracy Jackson

convenient fish bait

I saw this little gem in Fountain City the other day. It is right next to the new Super Kroger.

I have never imagined a fish bait vending machine before, but if I did it would look a lot like this one. I think the prices were around $3 for each type. Sadly the store is closed and is likely to never open again. See below. I'm sure he's just out fishin'.

Always open, even when it's closed

On my typical commute to and from downtown, I pass by good ole Mer-Mer's Bakery on the north end of Gay Street, right past 5th. First I'd like to comment on the name... but considering I don't really know what to say about a name like Mer-Mer's, I'll just bring attention to it.

Secondly, I'd like to know what, exactly, the owner is trying to suggest by constantly being open and closed at the same time. More often than not, their neon "open" sign is glowing while their closed sign is hanging on the door. It's so confusing, so baffling, and I love it.


photo by Tracy Jackson