Wednesday, January 16, 2008

why we fight?: the reginold story

what is there to say about the mysterious reginold that has not already been said before by reginold himself before? to answer this query, we turn to the man himself, reginold.

what is it about reginold that makes him so mysterious?

i think it is because he likes to live life vicariously through other peoples' lives and their online lives. everyone says, "hey where is reginold, who is reginold, why hasn't reginold put up a post on the blog yet? has anyone ever seen reginold? when am i going to meet reginold?"
could it be that reginold isn't real? could it be that he is camera shy? could it be that reginold isn't at work all day next to a computer? could it be that he is saving the world, one child at a time at a local YMCA instead? man, that would be great wouldn't? no child left behind, just like that educational program. well you get the idea, you know for the kids and the non-profits.

so what is reginold really like? what are his passions?

well, once you hang out with reginold, you'll never want to hang out with anyone else again. you can quote me on that too. hmm..where do i begin? he loves good music. in fact he has better music taste than anyone else he knows, just ask ck.

he can read slowly or sometimes faster than slowly. he has impeccable fashion sense. he makes ryan seacrest look gay, and that's saying something bold. just ask his roommate lucas. he''ll tell you. but don't let reginold's schoolboy face fool you. he's pretty grizzled, and likes to pretend that he's real outdoorsy when he goes camping in the smoky mountains three times a year. the proof is on his car, and what a chariot it is. his 92 honda accord is adorned with outdoor corporate bumper stickers and rust.

is reginold single, i mean, is he seeing anyone?

i know he frequents the sassy ann's and picks up churchgoing femme fatal socialites. he practically has their brother introduce them to him. i've seen him around town at the local bars with the same lady, and once they enter a room, it's not the same room. whatever that means. i don't know, i heard ben folds sing it about reginold, and i remember him saying it once about himself. he's got all these phrases that are just brilliant like that. it's like he read them off a cereal box or heard them in a movie. in fact, reginold's life is like a movie.
maybe someday, we can live our lives vicariously through reginold's. i can see it now. "he can blend in, disappear... reginold, no one knew he who he was, or what he was up to...that's the greatest trick he ever pulled, and like that he's gone."


stan said...

my 12 year old cousin has better music taste than regi!

Courtney said...

I don't think Ryan Seacrest actually needs any help in looking gay, but we appreciate the effort nonetheless.

ck said...

well, we asked for it. we've opened the portal to hell that is reginold posting.
the stream of consciousness rant really got me into his mind, and now i want out.