Tuesday, April 22, 2008

review : little caesars is hot-n-ready for you

Here at the Wigshop we often like to keep up what some would call a thin veneer of downtown hipness. Don't believe the hype. Behind that veneer is the truth: we're a bunch of broke bums skating through our third decade with jobs that pay the bills. Why do you think we blog? It's free! While you might think we hang out at the Crown and Goose every night, it's usually more pathetic: Netflix DVDs and pizza at home. Enter the Hot-N-Ready:
If you've ever made less than 20K a year you know this pizza. By some capitalist metaphysics, Little Caesars can give you large pizza for $5, and it's ready before you get there.

The other night Alice called me at work and suggested that I stop by Little Caesars (LC) and pick up a pie on the way home. I never loved her more. As I headed into the rundown K Mart shopping center on Broadway, LC was the most hoppin' place there. People just parked their cars in the fire lane- this isn't the first time they'd been to the Hot-N-Ready rodeo. I parked and headed into the bliss of instant pizza.

The bedraggled LC employee didn't say hello. He knew what I was there for. Someone else had just started ordering, so I had time to look around. Apparently, LC sells other things besides Hot-N-Ready! Not only that, the Hot-N-Ready lineup has been expanded. There's a deep dish Hot-N-Ready now. And the mildly addictive Crazy Bread. And a whole selection of dipping sauces, including Buffalo! My mind was blown away right there. A strange nexus had formed in the universe, allowing me enjoy my two favorite things at once. Buffalo pizza for $5.60!

I ate the whole thing before midnight.

Thank you Little Caesars for your cheap prices, not making me wait to stuff my face, not making me have to choose pesky toppings. Thank you for Buffalo Dipping Sauce. Amen.

Rating: 9 out of 10 wigs on the Wig-O-Meter.

8 comments:

The Pol said...

If only LC would share their secret with all business and peoples we could solve the world food crises.

stan said...

yeah, but then the world's poor would go from malnourished and hungry to malnourished and fat.

not i'm knocking cheap, fast pizza...

ck said...

maybe cheap pizza is the modern "bread" of "bread and circuses." does that make monster truck rallies the new "circus"?

after hot-n-ready, pizza anywhere else seems like a rip off. $15.00? really, mellow mushroom?! c'mon.
the only place that compares is davinci's. sounds like another review...

Robert said...

Question: Have the kids at Wigshop ever considered doing an annual "Best Of" list of Downtown eats, drinks, shops and whatnot?

Mickey said...

I'll second, Robert. Once you celebrate an annum, that is.

Nice, light-hearted review. Maybe LC will top this year's "Best of ET" list, knocking PH from its perch. Ahh, crappy, derivative, lowest common denominator chain food. We love thee so.

Amelia said...

I wonder why they need the mascot standing on the side of the street if their business is doing well?

em said...

I went to college with a member of the Little Caesars family. It started in Michigan. Just like Dominos! Yay for cheap pizza from Michigan. Actually, the original Dominos is really classy.

Anyway, I love flavored crust from Little C's and Crazy Bread too.

Tish said...

Gotta love those $5 pizzas! I get one nearly every week! The only thing that sucks is that you have to eat the whole thing right away. The stuff tastes like crap if you try to reheat it the next day.