Saturday, July 19, 2008

king tut's

before i kick the dust off my feet and head west, i've been trying to get my fill of knoxville essentials. so when i heard a friend was going to celebrate successful completion of grad school at king tut's, i was selfishly excited for myself as well.

king tut's is a knoxville treasure for many reasons. it has a strong mediterranean menu--flavors uniquely under-appreciated in knoxville (i can think of two non-hippie restaurants that serve hummus). but the aesthetics bring me back every time--a cross between cracker barrel with no inhibitions (as if it had any to begin with) and big don the constumier on bourbon street. there are masks. many, many masks--more on them later. your drinks come out in giant flower vases. kitschy signs plaster the walls. one of my favorites: as a jittery woman stares at a giant cake, "stressed backwards is desserts." yes it is.

the food is very good. the greek salad would feed five helots--or you and a friend, and is everything you would expect it to be. after you finish, soak up the leftover olive oil with the pita that comes with the egyptian sampler. this is the other essential dish. plenty of food to split as well. you should expect all kinds of delights, many of which i digested unnamed. but there was something wrapped in grape leaves that was delicious, a small dish with chick peas and beans, and of course the requisite hummus and baba ganoush.

to finish the night, we had delicious cake with sort of peach glaze/topping and huge pot of fine coffee. beware when you drink the coffee--mo brings it out in the pot he perks the coffee in, so their are dregs at the bottom. i recommend not drinking those.

[that's a troll above]

after the delicious dessert and coffee is when king tut's superb restaurant turns into king tut's karaoke lounge. depending on your crew, you may be expected to don a grotesque troll mask and sing. not to be resigned to this uncomfortable fate, i darted out before i could sing ("i'm a very important person! i must do important things."). i instantly regretted it. when you go--and by all means, you should go--don't make my mistake. put your head in the sweaty hulk mask, place your legs into the over-sized underwear (i'm not kidding), sing "cheeseburger in paradise."

too men share giant underwear. i can't explain it any better than you. this is just how things work at king tut's.

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i give it 67 wigs.

also, sorry about the images. i only had my phone.


Anonymous said...

West, Stan? A bit of a stretch, don't ya think?

Oh kidding. I am going to go cry now.

Excuse me. Excuse me...

Glad you had fun at Tut's.

The Modern Gal said...

One of my friends and I recreated the "Love is Strange" scene from Dirty Dancing one night at King Tut's. It was magical.

Anonymous said...



I seriously doubt your journalistic integrity. Either that or the humongous(and tasty) Greek Salad causes it's own magnetic field.

I wanna come back to Knoxville just to visit Tut's(okay, and Vic and Bill's)

ck said...

that's turkish coffee that he serves- it'll blow any espresso out of the water for paranoia-inducing caffine jitteryness. in other words, the best strong coffee in knoxville.

Anonymous said...

finetune music request: vertical horizon