Tuesday, January 13, 2009

fellini of my heart

There are arguably a lot of really great grocery stores in this town, so many that for a while, the Metropulse ran a weekly column dedicated to reviewing grocery stores. It's true. I was once dragged to the Turkey Creek Target because the MP review made it sound so enticing to my boyfriend that he just had to see it. Now that's some good writing. (I'm not sure if that column is still featured in the MP. Maybe they ran out of shops to cover? Or maybe I simply fail to be a diligent reader.)

In any case.

Knoxville. Many, many groceries. The Bearden area will hit the jackpot soon when an EarthFare moves in, and I know a lot of people who swear by the Fresh Market.

I'm a Three Rivers Market (coop located at 937 N Broadway St 37917) fan myself, but if I'm being truly honest, my heart belongs to the Fellini Kroger (2217 Broadway 37917).

In case you dont know, Fellini was an Italian director famous for creating surreal and bizarre situations. Think circus and vaudeville. Desire and dreams. Hallucination. 8 1/2 would be a good one to check out. I am sure other people have different favorites.

You can imagine what kind of grocery would be nicknamed for Fellini. Or maybe you cant. And that's why I love the Fellini Kroger. More than anything else, it's just an old grocery store serving a few nice and a few not-so-nice neighborhoods. But if you visit the Fellini you'll realize there's just something off about it.

The stories I've heard about the Fellini Kroger are like big fish stories; you cant quite believe what you're hearing, but you know you've got to believe that theyre true. I've got a few myself, but my favorite is from a few years ago. I had spent a good 20 minutes searching for pine nuts. Exasperated, I turned the corner and came face to face with a man in a floor length woman's fur coat. (You can just tell when it's a coat meant for a woman). Next to him? Presumably his son. Maybe 7, maybe 8. In a matching floor length fur coat.

I never found my pine nuts. They didnt carry them at the time. These days, I'm pretty sure they do.

12 comments:

benjamin said...

i honestly think the fellini kroger is what i miss most about knoxville.

last time I was there, I saw 3 women sporting bushy mustaches and an old white man carrying a bicycle down the dairy aisle.

Lisanne624 said...

I, for one, am waiting anxiously for the Aldi grocery store off Clinton Highway (next to Home Depot) to open. The sign has been up for absolute ages, but the building is still under construction. I've never seen an Aldi before, so I'm filled with anticipation.

You see, there is a lot of construction going on in North Knoxville, and I'm always sure it's going to be some exciting new business -- but it's always a bank. Aldi will be an honest-to-goodness shiny new retail establishment! It takes so little to make me happy . . .

Anonymous said...

WOW, great story! I laughed out loud at the woman's coat thing, but the real kicker was the 7 year old son. Somehow kids in furs is hysterical.

ck said...

women with bushy facial hair seems to be a theme at felini kroger! it certianly lends a circus-like atmosphere. i saw more female mustaches while waiting in line there than i care to remember.

Mickey said...

That's why I love going to the grocery store. That and the food.

max. said...

i witnessed two women get into an argument about having some guy's baby. one was pissed that the other was hiding the baby. the pissed lady was also "with" the father (not at the kroger, but otherwise) i'll never use the self-checkout again. it just seems to be full of those people.

Anonymous said...

Ah! I used to know that guy and his fur-wearing 7 year old. The elder of the 2 also carried a purse... :)

Daryl said...

We call that the Scary Kroger. The Kroger at Middlebrook and Cedar Bluff (and the Cedar Bluff area generally) boasts an older statuesque gentleman who dresses in 1980s drag, complete, sometimes, with walkman and big hair (and sometimes leg warmers).

Joe Ossenmacher-Bedford said...

an older statuesque gentleman who dresses in 1980s drag, complete, sometimes, with walkman and big hair (and sometimes leg warmers).Blonde? I am pretty sure that's "Sister Clay" (used to be Brother Clay on one of the local radio stations before the gender swap). One often so her walking or jogging down Cedar Bluff. There was a very interesting article about her in the Sentinel awhile back.

Joe Ossenmacher-Bedford said...

Found a link to the Sentinel article:

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2007/sep/02/life-after-brother-clay/

Anonymous said...

I once saw a guy shoot himself in the foot in the parking lot at the Fellini Kroger. Apparently the pocket that he was carrying the gun in had a hole in it and it fell out of his pocket, hit his foot and shot a hole through the foot. As I stood stunned, staring at him, he simply stooped down, picked up the gun and hobbled off, leaving a trail of blood! I don't shop at the Fellini Kroger any more......

Anonymous said...

I've worked at this store for almost 5 years and have never witnessed or heard of 99% of these stories I have read. Then again working in one part of the store you don't see a lot either.With that being said, I would not want to work any where else. We're famous. LOL!!!!!!!!!!